Thursday, May 6, 2010


Living in the society we do today has opened up quite a few doors with regard to communication. This being said, possibly my two favorite things that I think I could not function without checking each day are Facebook and the blogs I follow. Maybe I'm nosy, but I like to stay informed and on top of that fact, I've gotten lazy with my phone calls and e-mail writing. I've said all of this to say, a young woman that I have always considered to be a friend took her own life a couple of days ago. And when I say friend, I mean that we have known each other since we were 5 but probably haven't seen each other face-to-face in 6-ish years. We used Facebook to communicate... constantly commenting on statuses or our children's pictures. My dilemma comes in with do I go to the funeral home and pay my respects to a person that I wasn't really that close to or do I say my prayers for her family in the privacy of my home. I don't want to seem disrespectful to her truly close family and friends with my presence when most of them have forgotten me in the years since I lived in that small town. But I also don't want her life to pass by without recognizing that there were definitely times we shared together. Unfortunately, this dilemma seems to be a recurrent one and that saddens me. I'm probably superstitious but I believe the old wive's tale that death comes in threes. It already has this spring. And it saddens me that people die so young when it seems that they are really just starting their life.


Sweet August said...

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Death is never easy. If it were my friend, I'd probably say my prayers at home. For me though it may be more the fact that I never know what to say in these situations, especially with people I don't know all that well.

Cassie said...

I will probably stay home. I'm not so worried about what to say but in a way I feel like it would turn into a reunion and I don't think that's something I'm interested in. Thanks for your input!

The Perpetual Student said...

If I were you and really wanted to go or felt I needed to go for myself, I would go. I mean, people don't wonder who you are or how you knew their family member like they do at weddings, and it's totally okay not to talk to the family at all. Most people don't know what to say, and when you've lost someone really close, you realize that and appreciate the efforts of others, because there really isn't anything anyone can say. It's been my experience that the family is not thinking about things like that when their loved one has died. In all honesty, I still have only a fuzzy idea who was or wasn't there when we lost our dads. Funerals are for those who are grieving and those who want to support the grieving. If you fall into either of those categories, you should feel like you can go.

I don't mean to tell you what to do, and before I experienced it, I wouldn't have felt comfortable going to other funerals for the same reasons. I think all people grieve in their own ways - some need to see their loved one, one last time, others can grieve privately. I don't think anything should stand in the way of someone's right to grieve how they need to. With that said, I'm sorry for your loss, and it sounds like there have been others recently. <3

tambourinequeen said...

thanks for stopping by my blog.

anyway, first off sorry to hear about your friend.
I think staying home is OK, but I think sending flowers is very proper in this situation. It shows your respect.

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