Friday, July 29, 2011

yah and nah

Yah for my three-hour glucose test, I passed! So even though this pregnancy seems a little more difficult for me than the last, in truth it's been a breeze on paper. :) I'm just so glad that she and I are both healthy and I have less chance of being diabetic later in life. This week we've been pretty confined to the limits of our home. Lucy was diagnosed with strep throat on her birthday (though I'm really not sure how much I believe that when she never acted like she felt bad), so no playdates for us. I miss our friends and it's only been a week! In other news, (the nah) I'm still really struggling to name baby girl #2. I have been stressing myself out about it all and obsessing over every detail that comes along with my decision. I think it has something to do with my depression. Though I've been struggled with depression on some scale for many, many years, becoming a stay-at-home mom and not having work plus one hundred other things on my plate to keep me distracted, has finally made me start to deal with it. And I can't help believing that making decisions of any size or magnitude have become much harder for me. So, I'm pretty sure that while this baby has a name and it will be so obviously perfect once I find it, I'm having major difficulty falling in love with any of them right now. My poor husband, he's loved three different names that I agreed to and eventually backed out on! Thank God he's a patient man and he loves me no matter what. :)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Pregnancy Update: Week 26 & Lucy Turns 2!

You get a double post because I'M JUST TOO LAZY TO MAKE TWO. :)

Pregnancy: 26 weeks, 5 days

Weight Gain: -3 lbs total, still... which is good news for my after the baby body :)

Sleep: I'm still having issues with sleeping well regularly at night. Thankfully, I'm only getting up once to pee! Which I feel with increase in the very near future, but I'll take what I can get for now.

Gender: girl, and a wild woman at that!

Names: Yeah, so about my last post "Audrey for sure," that's not happening. I've always loved that name but once again we aren't going to use it. There are a variety of reasons: it seems to have blown up overnight, it just doesn't feel right, I dislike how close to Aubrey it is, which is another name that has become super popular. Anyway, Gary and I couldn't decide between Lily and Lydia and neither of us is willing to compromise. So, as of today, we're starting back at square two (square two because we DO have a middle name still, haha).

Feeling: I'm very happy and kind of in shock that we have less than three months to go. I'm also anxious because there's still so much to do but I think that once we really pin down a name, I'll be feeling much better.

Health: I had a few more issues this month with my exhaustion and cramping but we're in the clear on both. My numbers are good, with the exception of my one-hour glucose test results. I took the three-hour test yesterday and hope to find out the results tomorrow. I'm really hoping that since I've had no weight gain that indicates no problem this time around, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

Movement: This baby is a total mover and shaker. There's really no way to predict when she'll move because I feel like she's constantly playing in there! Of course, caffeine has the biggest effect on her but I'm serious when I say she loves to dance. Also, on the ultrasound Friday she yawned and covered her mouth, it was the cutest thing ever. :)

Belly Button: normal

Cravings: No more dip cravings. I did crave lemon cupcakes for a few days but only gave in once and was pleasantly satiated. Not really any other cravings that I can think of...

Next Appointment: August 12th - My doc wants to see me in three weeks and then to start seeing me every two from that point on. However, I'm thinking that if I am borderline diabetic again, I'll be called in as early as next week to meet the nutritionist. 

And now the Lucy is TWO update:
My baby girl is really very little "baby" anymore. She's gotten so big and so independent and every other cliche you say about blinking and your child being grown! She's very smart (I know, all parents say that) and her memory amazes me. She already recalls things from a month or more ago and constantly surprises me. We had her Ladybug Birthday Party on Saturday and she was showered with love from a large group of our family and friends. And today was her 2-year well-visit with Dr. Tigar. She is 31 lbs. and 34.5 inches tall, so if the saying is correct that they will double their 2-year height, she'll be roughly 5'8 or 5'9. I knew she would be taller than me! There are no words to express how much joy she brings to us and I am so grateful for a happy, healthy toddler.  

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

it's the simple things for me

I have spent many years of my life in fast forward, unwilling to slow down and truly enjoy things. Fortunately, having a child slowed me down a lot but I really think it's the best thing that could have happened to me. Slowing down and truly enjoying and savoring the simple things in life has become such a treasure to me. I realize I sound cheesy, but I don't care! It's really too bad that my tendency is still to try to do too much or to be in a rush, but thankfully, my children and my husband are working hard to keep me grounded. I love the friendships that I've gained from becoming a mother, the kinship that motherhood has brought to me is incredible. I can't blame Lucy entirely, I know that God has been working on me for years and this is definitely an area that He orchestrates regularly for me, because if I was in charge, I would just mess it all up. :)

Sunday, July 3, 2011

too selfish

I've decided that I may be too selfish to have six children. I'm not selfish with possessions, I feel that I'm capable of giving nearly everything, except enough time. It seems weird to acknowledge, but I was fine giving all of my time to Lucy when she was a baby. I just don't know how I'm ever supposed to keep myself sane if my only time without her is from 9pm-7am. And if I have six children, I'm concerned that I will never have any time again. To be fair, I think I'm having a little breakdown because I'm pregnant and spent 11 hours traveling home from vacation yesterday, in which Lucy seemed EXTRA needy/whiny/cranky/mean.... I guess I'll see how I function with Lucy and Audrey before I continue to meltdown. I've always been one to look too far into the future and allow myself to wig out about the unknown... definitely one of my downfalls. But I also wanted to acknowledge that I'm starting to panic about how little Gary is here because of work and my confidence is shaken after the last week with Lucy. Time to regroup and do some deep breathing!

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