Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I believe I said a few months ago that I was in therapy for my long-lasting and never-say-die depression. I'm not kidding here folks, it just won't go away! Anyway, the counselor I was seeing for a few months, literally did not let me talk. In the typical one hour session, I MAY have spoken for 5 minutes of the time. This is not therapy and I tried and tried to think of ways to improve this situation and various attempts failed. So, I stopped going. I tried to do everything on my own, and was completely unsuccessful. I have no interest in taking an anti-depressant. I'm not being judgmental, but for me, who wants to conceive another baby like yesterday, it doesn't make sense. Additionally, I feel like I need to do things the old fashioned way and just talk them out and work on myself. I said all of that to say this: Today I'm meeting a new counselor. I sucked it up and made another call (after a ridiculous amount of research about various individuals). And as a nice little cherry on top, the poor man probably thinks I'm more nuts than anyone else he's ever worked with, because I sent him a LONG introduction e-mail, in hopes that I wouldn't chicken out or glaze things over and that I would actually get somewhere this time around. Because I have to say, these days I have one awesome, hopeful, encouraging, productive day, followed by one hopeless, miserable, worthless day. And having about half good/ half horrible days is not in my job description... I'm a mommy and my daughter is happy all the time. I have to catch up!